BMTV is moving!

After much consideration (for much consideration, see I was bored and annoyed at Blogger for not having as good template design) I've decided to move this blog over to Wordpress. As you'll see if you click on the link below, it's rather snazzy!

My new URL will be http://bmtv.wordpress.com

Please change all bookmarks and blogrolls accordingly.

Cheers!
BM

Burton Race hits back at wife

Now obviously there are two sides to every celebrity breakup. But John, if Mr Badger gave *me* a pair of wellies as a romantic present, I'd slap him with them too…

News just in: part 2

The cheeky girls are 25?

That makes me feel a lot better about turning 27 in two weeks…

News just in…

Jodie Foster's gay?

A sterling example of a celebrity who oozes class and doesn't shove her all-and-sundries down our throats.

Take note Britney, Paris, Lohan, Katona, Jordan, Posh, etc, etc, etc…

End of year post (probably)

It’s been a bit quiet on the BMTV front this week. Partly because things are really busy in the world of Badger Madge The Journalist (our publishing house likes to make us all do 13 issues a year, so the run up to Xmas is always rather busy to say the least. We have a total of nine days to do a whole issue, when we usually have 16. Yeah. I know).

So apologies. I have nothing really to say of the past week’s telly, other than that I’m glad Biggins won IACGMOOH. A worthy winner. Someone who broke tensions and told it how it was.

I expect to be blogging rather sporadically over the next month or so. There’s the nightmare 13th issue to do, then Xmas, then my birthday (still time to send gifts!), then new year and THEN I start my new job in January. I don’t like to blog about personal ‘dear diary’ stuff, but it’s just another thing that’ll mean I’m away from BMTV for a bit.

So, if I forget to say it in all the madness, here’s to a smashing ‘festive period’ (see how I stay non-denomination-specific?) thanks for sticking with me over the past year and I’ll see you on the other side (if not before, of course)!

BMTV highlights of the year
TV
Blink
My absolute favourite Who episode ever (including the old ones I’ve been watching). Stephen Moffatt proves he’s king of the Who scripts. More of him please, RTD

Martha
Surprisingly good. Sexy, sassy and she did warm to me by the end. Hears hoping she can turn Torchwood around.

CIN Dr Who
Watch again and feel the glee!

And seeing as my three top highlights are from Who, here's a gratuitous shot of the Doc and his pussy. Again.



Life On Mars
Sad to see it go, but hey ho. A perfect series. Box set is on the must-buy list.

Lost v Heroes
Look, they’re both great, OK?

Hollyoaks
From the JP-Craig-Sarah love triangle to Max vs Claire, with little Hannah's eating disorder in the middle, the Oaks has upped the ante this year and can certainly stand alongside other more established soaps.

COMEDY
Peeps Show and Outnumbered
Special mention to these rather different takes on the sit-com. More please in 2008.

GMTV
The travesty that is the Daily Mail morning telly gave great entertainment in 07. A few too many gaffs to mention all of them but my faves are here, here and here.

BOOKS
Harry Potter
From The Order of the Phoenix, to the final book this has been the year of Potter. My Deathly Hallows is still tear-stained, but with the sterling quality of Phoenix, it looks like the series will be properly immortalised. Good stuff.

Northern Lights
Re-reading this now in prep for the film. It’s as great as it first was back in 2003 when I read it. Can’t wait for the film!

FILMS
The Fountain, The Departed and Stardust are my top three films of 2007.

GUILTY PLEASURES
Brothers & Sisters and The Tudors
Unrealistic, glossy American crap but doncha just love it?

LOW LIGHTS
Lifeline
Ghostly sci fi at its worst. Embarrassing sex scenes and terrible dialogue.

Torchwood
We expected better.

The Size Zero debate
From Louise Redknapp to Dawn Porter. Eat some cake ladies!

Big Brother
Too many cooks spoiling the broth.

Bad parents.
Again too many to mention. Bad examples here, here, here, here here and here.

TV phone ins
Be honest, we always knew they were faked. But the day Blue Peter was hauled over the coals was a dark day indeed.

WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS XMAS
Dr Who Xmas Special
Those angels look even more scary than the ones in Blink!

Enders
The shite is really going to hit the fan as the Max-Stacey-Bradders triangle is finally exposed.

All the shit/xmas films
And they’ve started already with Elf last Sunday.

2008 EXCITEMENT
Dr Who
Of course! (But not happy about the return of Rose).

Ashes to Ashes
It’s going to be kick ass!

Hilarious band/song names

Working as I do on a music mag (but not for long – ha!) musical chatter is the norm. But a few weeks ago, we were bored and got thinking of the following types of bands:

Toilet bands/songs:
"Push It" Salt n Peppa
Anything by Squeeze
"Wipe Out" The Beach Boys
"Dump Around" House Of Pain
"This Is How We Poo It" Montel Jordan
"I Can Pee Clearly Now The Strain Has Gone"
"Constant Straining" kd laing

OAP songs/artists:
"Purple Rinse" Price
"I Weed Myself And I Wanna Die" Nirvana
"Stairlift To Heaven" Led Zep
"Grand mama" Spice Girls
"Fade To Grey" Visage

Any more?

Soap dopplegangers

Proud to be town, not gown

It’s not often I talk about news or politics, but as a proud Oxfordian, I felt it necessary to give my two bob’s worth to the whole Oxford Union/Racism saga.

This rather funny website here, seems to be saying that, no matter how hard you protest, or argue, or discuss, racists are racists and they’re never going to change their minds or ways. I can see its point, but that's no reason not to protest, not to argue and not to debate.

If I was still living in Oxford I'd be pretty disgusted that Nick Clegg and David Irving had been invited to talk. Hell, I *am* disgusted! Not only because I’m Jewish, but also because this sort of thing is blatantly a publicity stunt for both the union and the two ‘speakers’. As someone said on the news last night, the BNP are great at waving their free speech/political correctness gone mad card, and of course, had they not been allowed to speak, they'd have waved it frantically again.

The president of the Oxford Union Debating Society, Luke Tryl, said: "The way to take fascism on is through debate and that's how we're going to defeat them. David Irving came across looking pathetic. He looked weak. The flaws in his arguments about free speech were exposed and I'm pleased that that happened."

I agree with you, Luke. Debating and intelligent arguing is much better than shouty demonstrations. You also state in you letter to the union members that they're not being given a platform for their views, merely they're there to discuss the limits of free speech. But by inviting two known racists down, you're giving them the privilege of talking at the Oxford Union (effectively putting them on the same level as Ghandi and Mother Teresa). Don't you see? That's just too far. It's condoning all their views – not only those they have on the limits of free speech – making them valid opinions (and in my view, they're absolutely not). I'm all for freedom of speech but I do think a line has to be drawn where we can't allow such public platforms to be freely given. The whole thing turned into a media stunt, thus ignoring the intended reasons for inviting them in the first place.

I said on a forum a while ago that I thought racists should be sterilised because if they had kids, it'd be tantamount to child abuse to bring them up absorbing such views, and seeing such violence and hate. So many people slated me for saying it, arguing 'where do you draw the line? The Monster Raving Looney party? People with blue eyes?' but that wasn’t my point. Giving these ‘men’ a stand – no, *inviting* them to have such a prestigious (public) platform to peddle their views makes it acceptable. Reasonable. OK.

And it's not OK. It's never OK. But to be honest, I wouldn’t expect a body such as the Oxford Union to understand, braying and privileged as they are. When I was at uni, I was the general secretary of my union. We used to argue over: Should we have Nestle products in the union shop; Should we officially support the troops in Iraq?; Should we sign a petition supporting such and such? You wouldn’t believe the arguments and passion that these issues would raise, sometimes long into the night. I don't believe the decision over inviting these two was debated by the union members. Had it been, I’m sure (as happened frequently in my union) those passionate students would have won the few media hungry union members over.

No, this reeks of arrogance, of ego and PR. Those involved obviously don’t care about running a democratic union. They’re only interested in politics and making a name for themselves. I think it’s clear what the presidents' (both of the union and debating society) intentions were, and I for one am proud that my 'lowly' Welsh university would never have stood for this. And I’m also so proud to be town not gown.

Ashes To Ashes promo

Oh yeah! Just seen a promo of Ashes To Ashes (it pays to sit inches away from the best Geek Mag on the planet).

So if you’re not a fan of spoilers, look away (although there’s nothing huge)

It’s kick ass. It really is. It was only about 3 mins long, but it’s feckin kick ass. I can’t wait. Any worries you might have had about “will it work?” “What about cast changes” “Have we had enough of Gene Hunt?” Just dispel them now.

As soon as Gene comes out of his office with the words, “Right, let’s fire up the Quattro,” you know you’re in steady hands. And there is goes, a red boxy number, still screeching, still driven madly around the streets. And Gene looks like he hasn’t changed a bit, flinging hoodlums around the place and telling him “Anything you say will be taken down, ripped up and shoved down your scrawny little throat till you choke to death.” Oh yeah.

More of the cars (including a Delorian??) here:


And then Chris, bless his little leather jacket and bad hair, does his best, yelling in one scene, “You’re surrounded!” but without the “by armed bastards” bit. Thusly, he’s peppered with bullet-spray and dives behind a well-placed group of barrels. Classic. Oh and a lovely comedy moment where Alex finds him in a club dressed as a Goth/New Romantic (complete with eye make-up).

There’s also a bit of an A-Team style machine gun fire from Gene and the boys on the Thames, which I’m not sure about. Did this happen much in the 80s? Surely we just sat around our monochromed sitting rooms, talking on our massive mobile phones and watching Howard’s Way? We’ll have to see.

Another thing I wasn’t too happy about was a quick glimpse of Zippy and George from Rainbow. Hmmm… Shoe-horned, much? But hey, like I said, it’s a glimpse. Maybe there’s context in there. Somewhere.

On a better note, there’s also the Ashes To Ashes version of the Test Card Girl, which is actually much creepier this time round. Especially for those with coulrophobia… *shudders*

Alex Drake is sultry, sexy and sophisticated and is complete with a rather fetching 80s perm (I’m quite tempted). I can feel (yet another) 80s revival in the air – this lady has a seriously sharp wardrobe (not to mention her fab belts and accessories *drools*). And she looks set to give Gene a run for his money, bending over a desk, whilst telling him she’s met Germaine Greer… Oh and then there’s the full-on bi-atch slap she gives him a bit later. Also:
Alex: “You’re taller than I imagined.”
Gene: “I’m bigger in every department.”

Sizzling.

Ooh, can’t wait.

PS A prize to the person who spots the (not so??) deliberate mistake in one of the pics above…

(Pics thanks to Ashes To Ashes TV)

A better life

One thing that’s been bugging me about X Factor (well, I say one thing. There are many things that make my bile rise, my blood boil and my fingers twitch, as they want to claw my face with rage, but I don’t have the patience to go into them now) is that anorexic harpie in Pussy Cat Doll wannabe girl band Hope (let’s call her ‘Lollipop Hope’, centre in the pic) continuously going on and on about wanting to succeed in the band so she can give her son a “better life”.

It really irks me when people in talent shows say they’re doing this to give their kids a better life. I very much doubt that having your mum live away from you for months on end, only meeting up once a week (and that’s a hurried cuddle and kiss at the live shows), seeing her parade on stage in a tiny mini skirt and bra, putting up with camera crews while does a staged visit one week, etc etc etc is having a “better life”.

Surely it would be kinder on the lad to provide for him then and there and not take the uncertain, shaky, often unsuccessful path to stardom.

It would certainly be kinder to the lad to set an example to him and show him that education and hard work are the way to success for the majority. Not everyone succeeds in the music business. In fact, not many people succeed at all. If Lollipop Hope wants to “give [her] son a better life,” she should go to college, get some qualifications and then get a nice little office job. That way you’ll be certain to pull in at least £20K a year – more than enough to keep little Kane / Mason/ Shayne / Wayne in shell suits and Nike trainers.

No, in participating in X Factor, Lollipop is ensuring that her future with her son will be just as broke emotionally as well as financially (thinking of parenting, as she does, in monetary terms). Plus she’ll be providing a really weak foundation for her son. He probably has very little regard for education and school as it is, but by strutting her stuff every night, getting mixed up in the PR machine that is the music biz, selling stories to magazines, drugs, drink, etc, she’s confirming that school isn’t the way to go. And that’s just really bad parenting. That’s not providing for your son AT ALL let alone giving him “something better.”


PS Just found this about Lollipop Hope on the official X Factor site:
“Charlie lives in Sunderland with her partner Lee and five year old son Jack. Having just finished her beauty therapist course Charlie was all getting geared up for starting her new career before getting through to the finals of X Factor, now she is hoping she can make her young son proud of her.”
Damn it, girl! Go back to beauty. My local salon charges £13 for a half leg wax. Imagine how many sovereign rings you could buy for a day’s work?

Weekend round-up. Again.

So, a few weeks ago I said I’d be making BMTV a weekly blog with fillers during the week if I had time. This hasn’t really gone to plan a) because I can’t really get to the pooter at the weekend because a certain Mr Badger is hogging it and b) because I’m a lazy cow, and spend most weekends either hibernating or parked on the sofa.

So apologies for messing y’all about, but here’s to the return of the almost daily (if I can be arsed/have anything to say) BMTV – back where it should be.

And let’s start, traditionally, with the good-old fashioned weekend round up.

X Factor
Should Beverly have gone out on Saturday. Well, it depends on how you look at it. She polled the lowest vote, which proves one thing for certain: people aren’t voting for her. Either that’s because they think she’s ‘safe’ or because they don’t like her as an artist, we can’t say for sure. So on vote merit, obviously she did deserve to go – she didn’t make people pick up the phone for her.

On vocal merit, pitted against the Hope girls (or the ever pouting, throaty voiced Phoebe) she should have stayed. Yes, Phoebe’s a good singer, but she’s nowhere near in Beverly’s league.

So why did Mrs O force the deadlock? Was it because we’re over half way now and haven’t seen it in action so the producers suggested to her that perhaps, now she has nothing to lose (literally) in the competition she might want to throw it in the mix and see what happens? Was it because she likes a bit of drama, a bit of controversy, does our Mrs O? Or was it because she had a good idea about the votes, and wanted to give the Hope girls a bit of a confidence boost? Who knows? Who cares?

Prediction for next week: Someone will mention the fact that you have to vote to save your favourite because “no one’s safe in this competition.”

I’m A Celebrity…
Wouldn’t’ it be wonderful ‘Running Man’-type voyeuristic TV if Marc’s letter to Cerys was planted by the production team? Imagine her little face crumbling when she comes out as she realises that Marc has, in actual fact, spend this whole time locked in a hotel room with only his girlfriend and some whipped cream for company, while she’s been pouring her heart out on national telly.

But of course, we wouldn’t want that for Cerys, the little munchin.

Dr Who
No, I sadly don’t have powers that can look into the future and see if Catherine Tate is going to be shouty and annoying or very shouty and annoying this Xmas. I borrow some ‘old Who’ of a mate of mine who’s trying to educate me and spent Sunday avo trekking in underground caves, being followed by Cybermen androids (name that story and win… something).



Yes, well done. It was Earthshock. So thoughts from a ‘new Who-er’. Davison is great. Kinda like a more serious Tennant. Less wacky, but still brooding, boiling, bubbling under the surface. Quite the sex pot. Not sure why Who fans hate Tegan. She’s alright. Yeah, she’s whingy and a bit bossy and that, but at least she gets out there in her baggy cat suit and tries to fight the Cybermen. At least she doesn’t just hide in the TARDIS, and watch what’s going on, like that drip Nyssa. And I’m glad they killed that annoying geeky boy. What a pratt. As soon as I saw him sulking on his bed, I thought, ‘Ooooh, I hate him. Hope they kill him, the annoying little fecker’. How dare he presume he knows more than the Doctor! Humph. Little feck-wit.
Three companions is just greedy, and you get a sense that they were throwing anything and everything at the Doctor in order to fulfil some kind of demographic or pique the interest of certain viewers. Not needed. It was a case of too many cooks. Oh, and a nice guest appearance from Beryl Reid, who played a rather bossy, batty ship’s captain, but she was rather annoying too.

Oh, and I know it was the early 80s and I was really trying to over-look the wobbly sets, etc. But I didn’t like that the Cybermen talked so much. And with intonation too. They’re not meant to have feeling, right? So don’t make their speech go up and down like a human’s. Plus, I got rather freaked out with shot after shot of Cyberman arse… Oh and they walked too casually too. Modern-Who Cybermen have it just right. Very menacing walk, robotic speech (if at all). Proper scary.

Next week it’s some Baker episodes. Not really looking forward to those. Yes, I know I’m committing some kind of cardinal Who sin here, but I doubt I’ll be able to watch Baker as the Doctor and not expect some kind of “Britain, Britain, Britain” outburst. It was like watching David Walliams in that Stephen Poliakov thing the other week. Kept expecting him to screech “I’m a LADY” any minute. Not enjoyable.

Heroes
So we’re almost in the middle of season (sorry, Chapter) 2 now and at last it’s started hotting up. We’ve got to the stage where they’ve finally explained what went on at the end of Chapter 1 and now we’re cooking on gas. Now we just have to kill off Maya and Alexandro (Heroes’ version of Lost’s Nicky and Pablo), and we’ll be back on track.

It’s all about family this season. Well, more so than before. The sins of the father, etc, etc. Not very original, but a cracking foundation on which to build, and something to which most viewers will be able to relate. Some Heroes’ powers are developing in interesting ways, and we also see how some might progress later (much much later in fact) if they keep following the paths they’re on…

Oh, and ickle Hiro (this time played by Sekai Murashige) is cccuuuuuuttttteeee!

Sunday night hug TV
Special mention to Cranford (Sundays 9pm BBC1), which isn't just another Sunday period drama. It's actually witty, dramatic, tense, poignant and sad all in a one-hour episode. The DVD in on my list…

Spice Flop

So the Spice Girls’ come-back single, Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) looks set to be the lowest-selling Children In Need single.

Well, I must say I’m not surprised. The problem with this new wave of reforming pop groups is that a lot of them don’t realise that novelty/nostalgia isn’t enough any more. Yes, at first it was rather fun (and funny) to hear that Take That were reforming. They might have had a massive fan base all ready and willing (oh so willing) for the boys to return, but I very much doubt they would have had the success they did had their song(s) not been of such good quality.

Because what ever you say about the Thatters, you can’t argue with the fact that Mr Barlow can write a nifty old tune. And that’s the problem with the Spice’s single. It’s cack. Utter cack. It might have passed under the poo-covered yard stick back in the 90s (it sounds a bit like a watered-down ‘Mama’) but getting back together isn’t enough. Doing a charity record isn’t enough. It has to be good.

And that’s why, unless they (or their producers/writers) pulled their fingers out, the Spice Girls’ return won’t be a long one. But I doubt that’s what they were aiming for. I think it’s plainly obvious (the fact that they’ve not made the effort to get a good song, sing live, bother at all) that they’re in it to make a quick buck and then retire to their separate all dancing, all perfume-creating sorry little lives. Silly girls.

Poor Marc

I don’t know about you, but I felt really sorry for Marc Bannerman last night. Yes, he’s been a naughty boy and has embarrassed his girly (of two and a half years) on national telly, and yes, if I were in her position I’d have gone mental a long time ago. But there was something so dejected in his gate, so resigned in his features after his interview, that made my heart go out to him. Poor sod. He can’t help the way he feels. And I can totally understand the need for a cuddle and some kind words when you’re away from everything you know. I’m not condoning what he did (and to be fair, he could have easily snogged Cerys’ face off, but didn’t) but I do feel sorry for him and think he didn’t deserve to go when he did. He was a silly boy, but he’s got it all coming to him.

Celebrity spot of the week

Another celebrity spot here in Bath. This time everyone’s favourite maxi-pant-wearing, jubbly-grabbers, Trinny and Susannah. Now, I didn’t actually see them up close, it was dark, they were on the street just about to go into a clothes shop that had been specially opened for them, but it was deffo them. Trinny air-kissed the shop owner, whilst Susannah tripped towards them from the car. Susannah is slimmer in reality than she seems on telly, and Trinny is much shorter. My friend, who saw them a bit closer, said that Trinny looks way younger in real life, and Susannah looked really knackered (blood-shot eyes, etc).

I resisted the temptation to go over to them (and squeeze their boobs) purely because I would be mortified if they asked me to go on their next show. Got me thinking: would you ever be friends with people like T&S? Surely you’d spent most of the time before you met them trying on different outfits in a bit to win their approval (and then spend the whole time you’re with them worrying what they think) that it just wouldn’t be worth it.